2012 The beast with out

So another year ends. The Mayans said that the world would end on Dec 21st. It didn’t. I don’t even know if that is a good thing.

Apple introduced the Ipad mini and Samsung came in with a host of new phones to deplete bank balances across the world. And yet, people couldn’t mass a device that would prevent rape.

I don’t remember if the things that I am gonna list out happened this year or the year before. Sometimes its just good to lose track of time, to flow not knowing each day from the last. Sometimes we should just club 2 years together so that we can think of some positives and not allow the negatives to dominate percentage points. But then technology has not given us the liberty of compressing time – Yet.

Quite clearly it was the year of lows. The Indian public woke up to the overwhelming reality of the sheer impotence of our ruling class. This realization was on the whole party agnostic. Each man in his character white kurtas and designer churidars stood naked in their pot bellies and wrinkled skins for the world to see. Half humans by growth if not by birth, these men in official cars and colonial bungalows and dubious pasts, almost destroyed an entire civilization.

I say almost because they didn’t quite succeed. Not for lack of trying, but because the civilization is too vast for them to destroy forever.

This was also the year that balance sheets and business objectives lost meaning. As they well might when you are faced with a civilization on balance.

Ma Durga and Ma Lakshmi were worshipped in their many avatars. We touched the feet of mothers and blessed our sisters. We made love to our lovers and kissed our daughters, and then when their back was turned, we violated them in a way that destroyed them again and again. We blamed rape on party politics, on short skirts, on tight jeans, on women’s education, on caste schisms , but never on Men’s animalistic tendencies.

Today we celebrate the spirit of the youth and the fight that Nirbhaya put up in 2012. And yet, I am scared that on scratching the surface, we will find a society deeply troubled because of its masochistic past.

Women are second class citizens and third class people. They are objects of pleasure and revenge and nothing else. Has it got something to do with our biology? Seriously, consider this, the very act of conceiving life is so violent.

Even there, it’s the women who are at a receiving end.

Would it have been different women had the little thing that forced its way in? I don’t know….

Throughout history, when we lost everything else, this was the one way we showed our anger…vented our frustrations. Violence is a deep reality of the mail psyche. We may cover it up with education and good thoughts. We may act all genteel and sophisticated, but just below the veneer, just beneath the surface, we are nothing but darkness and sharp teeth.

Its scary being a man in a world dominated by men.

We have to stop blaming women.

Throughout history and mythology, every epic of every hue has said ….Woman is the cause of destruction….

Lets analyze this a little. Draupadi caused the Mahabharata..common refrain…couldn’t be further from the truth. She was stripped in spite of her husbands being there…much like the poor dalit girl is stripped and paraded by the upper castes. Her predecessor, Amba was abducted as if she were a toy and then rejected when the patriarchal society had no use for her. Helen was blamed for the destruction of Troy. Till now, people say that Helen, in spite of being married to Meneleus, had an immoral affair with Paris. Nobody commented, that Maneleus was old and Paris was good looking. Nobody talked about the numerous concubines that Maneleus slept with and the fact that Helen fell in love with Paris.

Nobody said, that this was the silliest reason to destroy a civilization.

And yet that’s what happened.

The entire concept of Sati. There is enough historical evidence to show that much of this was forced. Yet it happened. It didn’t happen because of any great love the woman felt for the man…maybe she did or she didn’t. It happened because throughout the evolution of history, we subjugated them….purposely kept them weak, so we could be stronger.

Sati happened because the other men wanted the dead man’s property. Sati doesn’t find legitimacy in our scriptures. To the best of my knowledge that is.
They could have found an easier way of doing it. But no, men all over, Brahmins and others, decided that roasting a woman alive would give it all a nice little twist. So much so, through the ages, we created an environment when even women of all ages actually approved and venerated the act of Sati.

Think…Indians of all hue and ages…can you really think of something more repulsive?
I can! The act of female infanticide where you drowned a new born baby girl when she was born in milk. Crazy repulsive shit. The maddest bit is that this practice is still in vogue in India. There are people who still actually feel in a way crazy enough to kill a new born baby. By drowning her in milk.

In a society of paradoxes, the act of raping and killing Nirbhaya almost seems benign.

In a society of Khap Panchayats, where girls are not given the right nutrition, leave alone freedom to be educated, it’s a wonder that they have the right to vote, the right to breathe, the right to anything at all. This is a place where Fathers kill daughters for honour….where girls are conditioned from the moment they are born to be second to their brothers.

I laugh at people who say that these are pangs of transition. They say that the Urban milieu is more liberal and Women are actually getting savvier and assertive.

Don’t believe them. I know for sure that the large majority of Urban families are still fighting paradoxes. They still view the girl child as a liability…still labor under tremendous pressure if they cant get their girls married on time.

Crazy….

It will remain till the beast remains.

2013 has to be different.

Anna As President

Not so improbable.

Just yesterday, amidst falling TRP ratings, Anna did something that he should have done long ago....Announce the floating of a Political party, who will then get elected and bring the change from within.

Very commendable, very ambitious and very late.

In the meantime, team Anna has sufferred like no icononic movement leaders have done in my living memory. They have lost face and support...in that order....and are now hoping to cash in on what is left.

A year back, when people were galvanized into a frenzy of support would have been the right time. Now that they have had the time to reflect and listen to varied views, I doubt if Team Anna will have any sort of support at all. At best they may, if all goes well, become a sort of irritant that a Mamta or a Thakerey have been in the next 15 years or so.

What will happen to Corruption till then?

Me believes that the corrupt will see this as a vindication of their stand. A sort of parole for taking money. Electoral politics in this country (as indeed in most of the uncivilized democratic world) is a matter of muscle and money power. Just where does the team intend to get these two anachronistic elements remains to be seen.

Are we still saying that the end justifies the means? If so, then Team Anna will take money. They will take favors. Once elected, they will have to side those that give them the money...and then what?

Someone told me that they will go to the people for money. That housewives and students, Rickshaw Wallas and Office goers, labourers and farmers, purohits and imaams will line up to contribute. That utopia, while not entirely impossible, is immensely improbable.

After all, this is not 1962 and we are not battling the Chinese. We are fighting against ourselves. The enemy within is always more ambiguous. Its a difficult recognition process. Is it clear that Bedi is not the enemy and Salman Khurshid is? Do we really see a difference between a Kejriwal and a Chidambaram? Do we really know these people at all...or were we completely carried away by the jingoistic rhettoric of a movement in ascent.

History is witness to mobs, even admittedly large ones, completely taking over public oppinion, driving rough shod over the larger majority who were more content in preserving their silence, content in perserving the status quo of their humdrum, yet harsh, existence. At the height of the movement, there were perhaps a million, maybe 2 who were ready to come out in total manifested support. This figure while not negligible by any standards constitutes (at the stretched estimate) maybe just 0.17% of the population of India. In comparison let me quote the following

- An estimated 5 million people turned up in a single day in Sabrimala in 2007
- An estimated 6 million people marched through London and Rome in protest against the Iraq War in 2003
- An estimated 2.5 million people marched together in the Sao Paulo Gay Pride parade in 2006
- Around 2 million people turned up in Tripoli in support of Muammar Gaddaffi in 2011 against Western Aggression

Yet another piece of trivia ... More than 70 Million people turned up for the Ardh Kumbha mela in Alahabad in 2007.

Now that is what I call complete support..even in a country of 1.2 Billion people.

At a certain level, personally, I am happy that this is taking a political turn. I am not a person who believes that politics is wrong by deffinition. It is actually the most noble of all professions.

It remains to be seen if the larger objectives are met through this move and if Team Anna preserves their sense of righteous indignation on anything that is remotely corrupt...even when they see the same in themselves....

In the meantime, corruption will continue till there is no comprehensive overhaul of public consciousness.

Shine On

The sense of despondency is palpable. It is as if the India Shining Story has turned on its head and is walking upside down to drown itself. Even the trees struggle to raise their heads. The tallness of the buildings are somewhat diminished and well….there is a pall of gloom shrouding the brightest light in the malls.

Talking of the malls. Well they don’t run that well anymore. Just yesterday they were full of people spilling cash like children spill water. The crowds are still there…hanging out the atrium and the food courts ….but nobody seems to be spending anything. They look forlornly at the merchandize and then move on ahead..”Not now” they seem to be collectively saying..”We are here only for Déjà vu…”

The spirit of the might have been surrounds the glittering lights.

So is this essentially an Urban phenomenon? Or is it that sadness has permeated down to the smallest village as well. Or did India shine only in the cities and never had the time to reach the Kasbahs that make up Rural and Semi Urban India!

I took a car and prepared to drive into the heartland of what is arguably India’s most developed state. Gujarat with 42% Urbanization and growing fast is the perfect test case. A state with good roads, a rate of agricultural growth that put service growth to shame, Industrial growth that bordered on the ridiculous and people with more BMWs than I have hair on my body. Irrigation has taken water to the desert and canals from great rivers criss cross ambitious cash crop settlements.

I took the turning left from Ashram Road…on the way out of Ahmedabad and stopped. Ahead of me on the sidewalk was a family of 5. Father, mother and 3 miniscule children. They were settled uncomfortably on the sidewalk….meager belongings wrapped up in tattered covers….3 bricks making up an improvised oven on which the mother was roasting Jawar cakes. Didn’t look as though they had bathed for a week or so. The kids were dressed in shirts that must have been of some color when they picked them off the garbage can. They were dressed in shirts and nothing else…their limbs not belying the frailty of their age.

I stopped my India Shining car and went over to them.

They came from the tribal district of Dahod to the city for a better future. So I asked them some and they replied a lot…

They had enough to eat in the village. They had a roof over their heads. They bathed twice a day and the children had friends and land to play in.

Sounded like a better deal to me and so I asked them “Why did you come here ? For what?”.
“For a better life ofcourse”
“So are you getting it here? “ I must have sounded incredulous.
“No….It was a mistake!”
“So why don’t you go back?”
“We have nowhere to go back to. You see we sold off our land to come here. Now the money is over and in any case it was never enough to even cover a few months rent.”

Shine on you crazy diamonds.

I drove back in a tizzy…my rural project abruptly on hold and I assumed rightly or wrongly that the rural situation couldn’t be much better or was it? Had it been taken over by the richer few like the cities had been.

The only difference would be that the poor in the city continue living in glass and concrete. The poor of the village just shift to slums in the cities. They come with stars in their eyes and stay with rocks on their souls. Farmers plouging the concrete and glass fields of development while their lands are bartered for petty profit that hurts in its short sightedness.

India shines on for the solid few. Crazyness dances a chaotic pattern across the rest. The lack of inclusiveness in progress can only lead to dislocation of our dreams in the mid to long term.

Of course India Shining has ensured that there are more sidewalks…..So the homeless can hitch up plastic covers for a settled homestead….till an SUV misses the road and runs over a few…

There will be more looking for a home.

A very short history of Hindustan – An alternative Looky

Introduction
We take history too seriously. Actually….We don’t take history at all. In fact, history to us Indians is an extremely complicated look at mythology and eccentric rulers who seem to question the entire reality of being.
India never existed. Yes, there was a land mass (1) that extended from beyond Afganishthan to a small appendage below the peninsula where men with large teeth and ten hands stayed. Between these two extremes there dwelt a varied people who had (at various times) blue, dark black, grayish black, beige, brown, chocolate, cream and light brown skin. Some had moles, some didn’t. Some had long hair and dwelt on trees, and some had great vision and roamed around naked in the assumption that they may be called into action any time (Anybody who grew up on a steady diet of Amar Chitra Kathas will tell you that).

Kings and their families lived in magnificent forts and cities that were designed by Gods who specialized in architecture and building techniques that included scantily clad, voluptuous women with scantier morals ( I know that one is tough to explain….they were not there in suggestive architecture alone). Kings rode Elephants and were clad in iron and gold. In many cases it was difficult to explain who was riding whom and therefore one finds evidence that the Elephants were also dressed in Iron and Gold. Many kings also rode horses and palenquins. However, in all cases…all methods of transportation where dressed appropriate to the rider and it was sometimes difficult to differentiate between the rider and the ridden. In fact on many occasions, it was the horse (or the palanquin or the elephant) that passed instructions…and people never knew the difference.

Kings used bows that were larger than themselves and couldn’t be lifted. Some who could pick them up were considered to be great archers and they got beautiful wives whom they treated in fashions that can only be described as Cavalier. There were also kings with 10 heads and 1000 arms. These occasional freaks of nature, we are brought to understand, stole other men’s wives and put them up in 7 star resorts and suffered fate that made Troy heave a sigh of relief (A land that was destroyed by a married woman who was stolen by another man and it had a giant wooden horse somewhere built into the process….all very confusing).
Then there were Kings, also known as Nawabs, because they wore funny head gear and long shirts and knelt down on the ground 5 times a day, who built delicate and beautiful tombs that are considered to this day epitome of creativity. Strange to me though. Imagine this - a 10 x 12 Ft structure in Mumbai have 35 live people staying in it, but, in far away Agra, there is one DEAD woman and another Old DEAD man with a white beard (2 in all) who stay in a delicate but beautiful marble structure spread over some zillion and one acres.

There are fakirs with loin cloths who walked the length of the countryside for a pinch of salt and came from the Eastern hemisphere of the planet called Krypton. They flew down in spaceships and single handedly with the help of millions of others threw out light cream colored aggressors and reclaimed this entire piece of land (refer to point 1 for details of land reclaimed) on 15th of august because they wanted others to stand on the Red Fort and give long, very long, very very long and extremely boring speeches that nobody understands because they are in Politicanese…a linguistic nightmare born out of necessity and compulsion of the men riding horses (or palenquins, or elephants or rats or tigers or giraffes …. Well perhaps not giraffes)

(Couple of points may be noted here. The planet of Krypton has largely contributed to various events in this world. Earlier in the last millennium before the birth of Christ (after whose death Pirelli started making those wonderfully decadent calendars of semi clad women on tires), there was a man called Hanuman who was the ancestor of Superman who did not have a tail (Superman…not Hanuman. That is to say that Hanuman had a tail…not Superman). Hanuman wore an underwear and nothing else underneath. He also had a bloated mouth because he chewed tobacco and wore a crown. By the time Superman came into earth from Krypton, evolution had taken care of the tail and there were pants below the underwear because times were changing and one had to keep up with it.

Recently it has been noted that Superman’s illegal offspring who is therefore a direct descendant of Hanuman is known as Rajnikanthhhh and stays in the suburbs of a city called Chennai south of present day India. Like superman and hanuman, Rajnikanth can also fly and kick up a storm with his feet. He can destroy 10 headed monsters and say ‘Mind it’. He can run faster than a locomotive and swim deeper than a killer whale. However, it may be noted that he doesn’t wear an underwear over his pants. In fact there is no evidence that he wears underwear at all because times …they are a changing. Be that as it may, one thing is for certain…..Krypton is pivotal to our story. You will note in the course of the narrative that people from other parts of Krypton did not wear pants or underwears but thankfully wore loin cloths that they called their experiments with truth. They well might …..who am I to say no….

So this then is the challenge at hand. Recounting History of over 4 to 5 milleniums in a summarized and succinct ,manner that will be truthful and objective. I promise to attempt to do this with dishonesty and corruption in keeping with the traditions of Krypton which we have established is the precursor to what we know as India that is also known as Afganistan, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Wembley, New Jersey, Sri Lanka, Kuala Lampur, Durban, Nepal, Bhutan, Kampala, Mumbai and few other lands, all of which (as already established) fall between ‘Beyond Afganistan and Sri Lanka’ (point (1)).

I am thankful to Romila Thapar, Jadunath Sarkar, Basham, Rizvi, Nehru Uncle, Ved Vyas and Toynbee. I don’t know them, but they don’t know me either. I have read their works, but they haven’t read my works and that kind of gives me a moral superiority over them. My symbiotic relationship with them has resulted in this book of knowledge that I request serious students from JNU to read just before they sit down for their UPSC examinations. If nothing else it will save them from a life of luxury, comfort and security.

The Prehistoric Times

The prehistoric times were marked with various types of large 4 legged animals eating other 4 legged animals who predominantly ate plants. 2 legged animals with tails watched from large trees while they swung from branch to branch with their tails. At some point of time they fell off the trees because their tails couldn’t take the strain. Their tails remained entangled in the foliage above and created what we know as creepers today. Without tails, they were wasting away when one of them had a great idea and decided to turn human.

In the meanwhile, the four legged large creatures had largely been destroyed because heavy interplanetary apples that created craters on the ground. These creatures that were largish in size were called dinosaurs (not then..but later…and I don’t know why) and they were hard to miss. So they died and their place was taken by smaller animals that could slip between a barrage of interplanetary apples. Finally they put up a ozone layer that kind of baked the apples as they fell. This resulted in the discovery of the apple pie.

Humans, in the meantime, were thriving on fig leaves and whatever little they could find. They procreated with abandon and eureka, the big bang theory was established.

Be that as it may…I am digressing. A few of these people decided to call themselves Indians and migrated to 2 sides of the globe. On the one hand they found a land called Red India inhabited by Red Indians (More of that later) and on the other hand…they found a plentiful land that they immediately divided into zillions of pieces and decided to call them anything but India. Soon they put up 100s of well planned cities with night clubs and naked dancing girls and became very very civilized. Called the Indus Valley civilization these people had large cities and larger beards (Because Shaving cream was not yet invented)…..

…To be continued

Today. Around India (Mostly Delhi though)

Nitin Gadhkari …of the famous laugh and jelly belly, today put his all behind Anna. “We support Anna. His strength of character is exemplary and BJP supports his movement through thick and ….well….thick”. A dispassionate political commentator who refuses to be named has politically commented (because that’s his job) that Gadhkari should take the 11 days Anna program of Fasting. This will reduce the Jelly and let the belly come through. He further added that 40% of Indian grain production is currently residing in the jelly belly, and so, Gadhkari could go on a truly indefinite fast to support any issue. However he would find few takers. The man on the street, when asked about Gadhkari’s statement, replied “ Gadhkari WHO?”

Vandana Luthra has filed case against Anna Hazare. She claims that he has conspired to close her clinics down. Its rumored that attendance to VLCC clinics all over the country have fallen. 25000 franchises of the VLCC chain and their employees have resigned in disgust. Anna’s 11 day program for weight reduction has found takers amongst middle aged people all over India who happened to consist of 90% of her clientele (The remaining 10% were over middle age).

Anna couldn’t be contacted for his comments as he was apparently running around Ram Leela maidan in Delhi. A panting Kiran Bedi said “Anna is value adding to the 11 day 6 kg sure shot program”.

After having slammed Anna for being anti muslim, Mr Bukhari re emerged from the recesses of the little korma shop behind Jumma Masjid and declared his unfailing support to Anna and his fast “I am sorry for my earlier comments” He said..”Anna is totally pro Islam. He has chosen the holy month of Ramadan to do his fast. He is an inspiration to Muslims all over the world”. He ended his statement by committing that he will have a chat with Mr Abu Musab al-Zarqawi about making Anna the spiritual head of peaceful Islam anywhere in the world. On being reminded that Anna is a Gandhian, Mr Bukhari replied that Gandhi was a shadow Muslim with definite leanings towards militancy. He could not further explain this preposterous point of view.

Dalits have refused to comment.

30% of Indians who live below the poverty line (That straight line just south of your belly) have registered an organization called – INDIANS FOR POVERTY. They claimed that they would soon go on an indefinite fast in venues spread across the length and breadth of India…mainly their own homes…in support of killing hunger. Official spokes gal of the organization Ms Poonam Pandey said “ I will go nude to inspire this fast. My nudeness will serve as a reminder that lack of food is not bad. It’s the will power that counts”. Unofficial spokeswoman and mother of 10, Shreemati Bhanumati from Bastar, Bihar, said “We have practice….it will be a breeze…we can get by a season without food comfortably”. Its rumored that Nitin Gadhkari may support this movement as well….Only he cant decide about the part of him that will support this.

The official slogan of the movement has been coined by Shri Piyush Pandey – “NO FOOD ….DAMN GOOD”. Students from IIM (Kazhikode) and Lovely Professional University are analyzing the brand potential of this slogan.

In the meantime, the parliament is rocking….Manmohan Singh almost said something interesting….but then changed his mind.

However, as they say, It’s the thought that counts…

Delhi - This evening

It has been reported by reliable sources that Anna, like Subhash Bose, has given the incredible cry of ‘Chalo Delhi’. At the time of creating this slogan, Anna, hands raised, was standing in the heart of the Ram Leela maidan, which, for the uninitiated and for those who had forgotten …happens to be in the heart of Delhi.

Various people from various places in India have woken up to the fact that the weekend is coming up. Airline companies have hiked rates and Railways have run out of tickets. Team Anna, has released a statement that goes “There is a conspiracy afoot by the government to prevent people from coming to Delhi. If the Airline companies don’t lower rates, then we will introduce an amendment in the Jan Lok Pal bill that will ban all Airlines. Anna has promised to go on a fast following this fast if the Airlines don’t act fast enough. We also have another demand. Rail traffic to Delhi needs to be increased by 500%. At least 2000 new trains need to be introduced from all cities to Delhi. This has to be done by tomorrow evening, or else, we will do a rail roko andolan starting today evening”.

The people from Delhi…native to Delhi…staying in Delhi claimed that Anna’s call was not for them as they stayed in Delhi from before. Therefore they are currently making a beeline for the Cinema Halls and Bars and Discos in various parts of Delhi. Said resident Gurpreet Singh from Mayur Vihar “I think we are not understanding what Annaji has to say. He is asking people to come to Delhi….This is his way of increasing tourism to the Capital city of India. I will definitely vote for him next time in Election and hope he become Tourism minister of entire India. Right now…I need to get drunk”.

It has been reported that the ‘Chalo Delhi’ visitors to Delhi will be put up at places that have never been touched by corruption. After extensive survey work, the authorities have circled in on one square centimeter of land in North Eastern Extreme of the city.

In another wholly unrelated development, Arnab Goswami has resigned from Times Now. It is said that his hearing has been prematurely effected from ‘The Studio Noise Syndrome’. In a media statement, a visibly distraught Arnab said “I have given my all to bring you divergent point of views. Now with a heavy heart I will need to retire due to Medical reasons”. Of course he couldn’t hear the sound of fire crackers that went off.

Unconfirmed report also said that Manmohan Singh has threatened to go on a fast until death till Anna doesn’t withdraw his agitation. When quizzed about this, Mr Singhvi, official Congress spokesperson , looked puzzled and said “No comments” A reporter reportedly overheard him screaming on the phone to somebody….”Why did nobody tell me he was alive in the first place….Nobody tells me anything…I will report this to madam…for sure”

An open letter to Anna

Dear Anna

We are here right now. 65 years after democracy came to us, I may add – On a platter, we are right where we started - Protests forming what they call a second fight for independence.

Look around you…WE ARE FREE…In as much as a modern society can be without completely descending to anarchy. We are free. That freedom is reflected in the protests of the civil society, in the voices that hit you from the television sets, when you see people take to the streets and wave slogans and banners, when you see people drive on the wrong side of the road, when you hear of elected representatives raping minor girls and poor people staying anywhere that they fancy.

Tell me, where else in the world would you find a country more independent.
Anna, please note that curbing of corruption has to start with the definition of corruption. Corruption and I am only assuming here, in the present context is ‘Using of one’s office for personal advancement over public interest in a way that is illegal and unconstitutional’.

(I do not know if that is the right definition. I don’t know what the Indian constitution or the Indian Government says about it…but nor do at least a billion of my compatriots. I say Anna, I am the majority.)

However, going back….If that is (or at least comes close to) what corruption is, then there are any number of bodies that have been instituted by state or center to fight it. There is the CVC, the Vigilance cells in each large body, the ACB etc etc that have been set up to do exactly that. In fact you have the entire Police department, that stalwart of nepotism and petty bibery, which has been there for donkey’s years for crying out loud.

I say, Anna, and I say it in a tone that represents request - Shouldn’t we first run a movement that fights for the effective implementation of policy! Shouldn’t we make the existing bodies effective rather than imposing yet another huge organization with its own bureaucracy? Shouldn’t we insist that the legal system be galvanized into doing what you are trying to take in your own hands?

Annaji, look around; there are people around you who are not exactly the stuff that idols are made of. Of course there are guys who mean well and are above personal reproach, but hey, I don’t wanna take names, there are a few who may have Swiss accounts as well. Its political Anna and you know it.

Tell me Anna, what are the odds of you and your all India movement standing for elections, coming to power and then raising this issue?

That would be the constitutional way really. That would be the victoriously right way….That would be the way to go rather than give soaring TRP to unscrupulous channels, who exist because of people like you Anna. They make your mind up for you, no escape.
Imagine, if you got a true majority in the house, you wouldn’t have to fight on the streets…You could actually do this without the Tamasha…

But for that Anna, this needs to be a truly mass thing. A thing that almost ensures you a walkover in a democratic process. Are you sure of getting that Anna? Are you really sure this is a mass movement?

If you are, then rest assured I will vote for you….I love this country and for years if we have given buffoons the chance to be leaders, we may as well give a few years to you…..Let you institute your Civil Society Government with your Jan Lokpal. Let’s spend a few thousand crores more on salaries and scrubbed bathroom floors. Anna, let’s have you as the Prime Minister.

Till then Anna…just a small reminder – Years back a society not as free as ours rose up in protest. They were butchered with tanks in a picturesque square that represented people power.

Anna….We are Indian…Thank God for small mercies

Warm Regards

Yahoo...Suku Suku

In the heart of political sensationalism and pouring rains, there was an incident of great import to people like me. The passing away of Shammi Kapoor was and will be a matter of sadness for me and millions of his fans elsewhere.
His contribution to coming of age is great. Greater than what Anna is doing and great than what Manmohan uncle unleashed in the 90s. Back in the 60s, before I was born, before my parents were married, there was this man…Fat, obnoxious and very good looking who went to town with his swagger and sexuality. In the days of Raj Kapoor, Dev Anand and Dilip Kumar, here was a guy who was unabashedly different….extremely unconventional….very loud…very funny…..

He turned his lack of dance skills into a fine art, he made his stocky frame break into pieces, negating his fat with constant random motion…He made rock n roll mix with Bhangra…Desi style and he made his leading ladies go weak in their knees with one ill timed scream …..Yahoo….

I believe he gifted us Mohammed Rafi…in as much as Rajesh Khanna did Kishore Kumar.
When we were growing up, in college, up near and close with the opposite sex for the first time, it was their jugalbandi that gave us confidence. Sitting on the college steps belting out ‘Diwana Mujhsa Nahi’ with gullible feminine eyes looking at us, we so wanted to be him. We wanted to drive an outsized American car on thin mountain roads with brooks flowing by. We wanted to play drums the way that made our hair spray all over the place and dance the way that only un danced the floor…”Baar Baar Dekho Hazaar Baar Dekho” was pretty much the story of my first girlfriend. She was sucker to fall for it and I was not even a half decent singer.

And then there was the inevitably urbane and obviously sophisticated Sharmila in Kashmir Ki Kali…in a Kashmiri villagers dress (no less)….being romanced by a large if good looking man who couldn’t stand straight. He jumped into the Daal Lake and lip synched with passion that lent Mr Rafi a whole new dimension altogether…..An entire generation after the 60s, in the late 80s, Shammi Kapoor was still dictating the way we thought of romance.

It was not about candle lit dinners and long drives….It was that and much more. If the object passion showed too many nakhras even after the songs and the dinners and the long drives….you just did things the Shammi Kapoor way …… Yahoooo

It was not only when he was romancing them, but also when he was being romanced. His is the image that comes to mind when one thinks about a archetypal spoilt brat giving a tough time to his dearly beloved for some flaky reason or the other…So when Asha Parekh of the big behind and bigger eyes fame, sang Sona Re to a pouting Shammi Kapoor, we youngsters went into raptures…’that’s exactly how we want our GFs to behave’ ….. It was wow time. In a country where men never cried or pouted, it was Shammi’s pout and ready tears and general persona that defined the birth of the Indian Metrosexual. A persona that was not related to the overriding problems of the Indian diaspora, but a man who was and will be forever a symbol of urbane sophistication that is however rough around the edges….that can play a guitar and a drum and scream out loud when cornered …Yahoooooo. And this long before the 1990s when the word in question came into being.
Shammi Kapoor, Good morning. You are as alive as you were in the 60s. We are fast approaching the middle years and yet your voice still resonates in our ears and reverberates around the heart walls. Yahoo….Shammi (Once born…never dead)

Random Love

Like us many have spoken over this spring,
But they were gone in the twinkling of an eye,
Like us, many have broken down on love
But few had the roots to build on it

Love is not a common man on the street
Its value is in its invincibility
That which can be broken down
Is never love in its entirety

We can grow as we go on
In this utopia or outside
For in either case my dear dear love
I remain and YOU remain

Amake Amaar Moto Thakte Dao

Recently this song has become very popular in Kolkata. The imageries that go with the lyrics are superb. Cant possibly explain the same in English, but I still tried to translate the song into English in Angrezi...leaving out the effective essense. But it was that or nothing....

Let me be the way I am
I have set myself the way I need to be
All I couldn’t have ..is best that way
That’s why I have reason to live

That twilight zone in your world hits me
Like brightness through crushed stained glass
If you want to fly let yourself go
I wont look for you again

There is a bit of chaos in life right now
Amidst that I try to write a new story
I need to cut away all that clung on
So I try and I try

Suddenly if love pours down
Like streaming life in the light of dawn
You can look for me with misty eyes
You will find that I am gone

Try not to light a lamp for me
I am lost in the patterns of humanity
I am finding my way again through the wall
Looking for a way to break it down

All the dreams that run through your blood
Are restless , are random and fast
When you take a pause just consider
When this dream slipped through your fingers

I want to miss the symphony of your life
Fade away like the ripples it caused
Never again will I go with your flow
I like this anonymity

Maoists...the world over

Hate political views...but I ask the elitists in support of Maoists (including the present, live and yet lamented Ms Roy) ...all the people who travel and get blown up by landmines and shifted tracks, all the policemen and children killed...were they all rich multinationals? Anti establishment is good, but blind violence? If they have the guts why dont they go blow up a steel plant or something? And if they are so downtrodden and poor, where are they getting their arms from? If the money as they say, is coming from elitist capital mongers, then their entire premise is self defeating.

So it all boils down to political power and its road to economic power. History shows that political power is often just the first step towards absolute corruption. History has more than enough examples to quote and so I wont waste any space here

Ms Roy (a tragi comical character at best and a rabble rouser par excellence), says and I quote ‘(The rebels are) people who live with their dreams, while the rest of the world lives with its nightmares…..’ The irony of the situation is that for the hundreds of families and friends who have lost their sole bread earners and their hopes for the future, these nightmares (as quoted) are the creation of these very ‘innocent dreamers’ and their leaders. Of course its stupid to imagine that all the people with their ‘strange arsenal’ are cold blooded killers, however, these ‘dreamers’ are controled by people who will, at the end of the road, either die, or achieve huge political power, and create, another class of elites. The fighters, the foot soldiers, the dreamers, will end up, as in hundreds of other revolutions, as small time state employees struggling to make ends meet.

Ms Roy goes on “I’m surrounded by these strange, beautiful children with their curious arsenal,” she wrote. “They’re all Maoists for sure . . . Are they all going to die? . . . What for? To turn all of this into a mine?” Dear Ms Gullible Roy, as the revolution is won, and power is shifted to the hands of the formidable Maoists, Mine companies in their black Mercs, will woo them like there is no tomorrow. There is wealth in those lands – if geography lessons are to be believed, and this wealth will find its way into the GDP…Dreamers or not. So those very ‘Dreamers with their strange arsenal’ will end up getting displaced in any case , or, go to work in one of these so called Multinationals.

History is witness…”Capitalism has ended poverty in more places than a few”. These very elitists, barring a ideological few have benefitted tremendously from Capitalism. There is no logical alternative as of now. If there is, then I would support it whole heartedly. Nehru tried with Socialism, and indeed was succesful to a great extent…only its in tatters now…have been from the 70s really. Communism and Maoism as they were meant to be have failed the world over and natural resources have been exploited from times immemorial for the benefit of mankind. Of course its not correct. But what does one do! Ms Do Good Roy would do well to fight for lowering of the birth rate and killing of extra people. Or maybe, that’s what she is supporting. All the people getting killed in the process will use that much less minerals.

The State Machinery is like her twin brother. Demented, slow and burdened with vested interests, India plods on. Do we use air power? Do we send in the Army? Do we go to the loo? O my dear hungry politicians, please understand….Money can buy anything…so throw in the developmental card…build nice roads, give tax breaks, give social security, build hospitals and siphon some of the funds for the Maoist leaders and the local politicians from all parties, and you will have a functioning democracy. In the meantime seal your borders with the great Chinese Nation and the pathetic Bangladeshis….keep a close watch on the Nepali and Myanmarese and you will find that this ‘Nightmare for the rest us’ may just dissapear.
Of course its not so simple. You, my dear Political Big Wigs, have made it complicated beyond comprehension. Now its time to uncomplicate. Its time to be satisfied with the money you have already made and the power you already have. Its time to look beyond Switzerland to India. Its time to make the Maoists rich.
Get some of the Trillion odd dollars hidden away in banks the world over to save your own power base guys.

As for Ms Gullible Roy…Get real….find something good to do. And yes, next time you go publishing articles in Capitalist newspapers, don’t take any fees….

Corporate of Heaven and the implications of Hell

Corporate of Heaven and the implications of Hell
I have often wondered why we have so many Gods. The legend is that Prajapati (or Brahma as you may know him) opened his huge mouth and generated Agni, Varun, Indra and the rest. Then, all the gods created, opened their minds and created a kind of a super God …Maheshwar..Shiv. This God then went back and tried to kill Brahma himself and he is dying ever since…not succeeding though…as Mrtyu, Brahma’s own daughter is always hesitating to do so. Vishnu the third of the Troika was always there apparently…a rival to Brahma and Shiv and the supreme doer so to say.
Anyways, that’s not the point that I am trying to make. The problem seems to be one of identity. Who is god? Is he one or many….Can one being, if god is a being that is, be a single window operation despite the complications that come out of running the world ( not to speak of the various management decisions that need to be taken for the running of Heaven and Hell and the worlds beyond).
I think not.
I think that the celestial committee is a collection of Management experts. There is a COO and there are various departmental heads. In this I am in total agreement with mythology…. Chitragupta is the secretary of Yama…the God that controles Mrtyu (the goddess of death). This whole administrative set up is headed by 3 Gods (fitting that it should….considering the complexities) – Brahma, Vishnu, Maheshwar. There is a board of Governors (Agni, Varuna, Shakti etc) and then there is the COO who has been diminishing in importance because of his imperfections - Indra. It is male dominated, however some of the very important portfolios are handled by women – Education, Saraswati – Lakshmi , wealth. Then there are the honorary members – who are essentially extensions of existing gods ….Krishna, Rama etc… It’s a liberal setup considering that there is a Head of the Department for the Department of Desire and the arts. It’s a workplace with perks and benefits and anybody can be a part of this …. Viz – Chiranjeevi – God for Cinematic Arts in Andhra, Rajneekanth – God for Cinematic Idiosyncrasies, Dhirubhai Ambani – God for the not so ethically inclined ….so and so forth. The latter are junior Gods, something like the Minister of State or Deputy Ministers in our Constitutional set up…they have importance in pockets without actual influence on the larger governance of creaturekind.
Its not that mere mortals or people or beings not born out of Brahma’s direct creativity are not qualified for the higher posts of full gods. Some started small and grew to magnificent strength…Hanumanjee…some started big and ended as damp squibs ….Indra. There are departmental experts who have been promoted to higher levels like Garuda, Vishwakarma, Kubera and others…and yet others seem to have gained in importance due to the work they have done for specific projects…Hidimba, Jatayu etc.
So there are many of them. Morals and scruples and social norms were not top of the mind initially. These executives and managers roamed the earth impregnating women they liked giving birth to strapping youth for carrying the earth forward. Morals really started kicking in once the population went through the roof. The Super Gods realized that the 2nd level was creating havoc and clamped down with birth control features. They were to limit themselves to the apsaras who were non reproductive in nature. Death in heaven was difficult considering the advent of Som…and therefore entry was limited to the very occasional creatures. Rajnikanth made a late entry as did MGR . There are numerous temples dotted across the island of Jambu with new and fancy deities. These are the new entrants. As always, entry is just for the deserving. However, influence counts.
In the beginning, Brahma was indeed scared of monopoly. So along with the generation of Gods, he generated the Asuras. Sura and Asuras. In fact his first children were the Asuras. So drunk were they with the power they generated that Brahma had to soon produce the Suras or the Gods. In doing so he produced a lot of inbetweens. After all, it did take a few trial and errors. So the Gandharvas and Demi Gods were created. The Asuras don’t have Soma but they have a magic Physician who keeps them alive. From God to Anti Gods - the step was easy for the Asuras. The coming of the Devas only helped in sealing their fate. The new kids took over before you could say Haven help me.
The Asuras too have their version of heaven. Going by the slightly scary name of HELL, it has a cult following amongst earth dwellers. Far more welcoming than Heaven, Hell is forever subject to bad PR. They just don’t have a good Marcomm team. However, earth dwellers have shown a distinct preference for it through the millenniums and, word of mouth has it, that it’s a infinitely more fun place to be in. Unfortunately Heaven has become this clichéd sanitized place and the same old Apsaras and facilities seem to have gone the Air India way. After all, who wants to take a drink from a 6 million year old Apsara.
Hell is a kind of Celestial Havana or Hawaii or even Las Vegas and Goa. The original Sin City, it’s a kind of reaffirmation of Original Godliness. It’s a hark back to the times when Sinning was fun…Sinning was virtue. For, all the things that the Gods did in the beginning are considered Sins now. So are we to assume that all that they did then was wrong? In any case, you are more likely to meet Merlyn Munroe, Mata Hari and Helen of Troy in some cozy alcove of Hell than in the sanitized world of heaven. You would also meet Jack The Ripper, Saddam, Stalin and if you stay long enough, you may also meet Bush, Laloo, Kim Jong and Salman Khan. Infinitely more interesting.
No wonder ……the overwhelming popularity of hell is testimony to the fact that Creaturekind wants to move back to religion. All these Bibles and Qurans are empty roads to hell, its actually sinning that is the true panacea. A sort of reaffirmation of faith as it were.
Hell is also corporatized. But its doing a better job in terms of visitors log. Look at it this way…Gandhi never made it to hell, but, Marqis De Sade did. You tell me…

The importance of being Karna

A child born out of the impulsive affair of a royal princess. A prince facing the humiliation of being set adrift at birth and being raised by a non achiever. A warrior who supported the losing side. A father who saw his son killed in front of his eyes. A man who understood the impracticality of giving away his security. A disciple who was unfairly cursed by his own teacher. A King who was never there for his people. A chauvinist to the core. A follower of Dharma who gave tacit support to adharma. A seeker who was forever seeking for what he should not seek for. An egotist who never believed that he could go wrong. A practical person who always gave in to impracticality. A great man but less than the greatest because of the company he kept and the environment of his growth. A bitter man with a chip on his shoulders. A supreme strategist who could never own up to his own faults.

Karna was all this and more…

Karna was the first in a stream of illegitimate sons that Kunti had. These children were luckier than Karna, in that they were conceived by the approval of Pandu. Kunti and her co wife - Madri had 5 more sons. Yudhistira, Bhim, Arjun, Nakul and Shahadev. They all excelled in a single quality each. Together they were like the 5 fingers that make up a fist. However, individually they all lacked in specific qualities. Karna was the son that Pandu could not have. He was his hearts desire from an union he did not know of. The irony was emphasized, in that Karna contained all the qualities that the other five had together. But, as practicality would have it..each of his qualities were lesser in extent to the whole that the 5 others represented as a group. So he was a strong … but not stronger than Bhima. He was a master warrior but not greater than Arjuna. He represented Dharma but not as much as Yudhistir did. So though he was more of a man than any of his brothers , he was less in one single quality that each represented as individuals. Karna was a weaker fist than the collective five that his brothers represented as a group. However, he possessed at least some qualities that his brothers did not represent individually.

He was the all rounder. Never a specialist, he did not realize his own weakness. He attempted to be the best at archery…but could not rise above Arjuna. He tried to be the strongest physically, but could not excel Bhima. He tried to be more devout and generous than Yudhistira and yet was never perceived to be a Dharmaraj. And yet, he believed himself to be more than the collective strength of the Pandavas, and that was his undoing. A team is always stronger than the individual and Karna was shadow captaining the wrong team. A moral emerges – Back the right team.

The glorification of Karna is - in as much as you would glorify an underdog, a martyr. We take his failures unhappily and attribute them to curses and conditions. Only 2 people could string the Gandiva, but Draupadi would not hear of marrying a Sutaputra. This shocks the modernity in us and we scream – But that is unfair…Draupadi is doing this because she has her heart set on Arjuna. The truth is probably different. As the daughter of a major Monarch, Draupadi was arrogant and snobbish, she would not marry a man whose antecedents were not clear. Strong as he was, he was not a match for Arjuna’s family line. The irony was that Arjuna’s antecedents were as dubious as that of Karna. Only, Pandu was aware of it and gave him a name. That name made the difference. That is the next moral of his story – You need a family.

Even during the war, Karna could never kill any of the Pandavas. We believe that he made a promise to Kunti “You will still have five sons after the war”….”I will kill only Arjuna and spare the rest”. The point is, that this promise lost the war for the Kauravas. So, even bound to Duryodhana, Karna betrayed the very basis on which he was on Duryodhana’s side. He defeated Yudhistira in a single combat and then spared his life, Bhim met the same fate as did a combined attack of Nakul and Shahadev. Imagine this, Arjuna would have been completely devastated if Karna had killed all his brothers. Arjuna would have lost his powers and the war. So Duryodhana lost the war because of the great betrayal of his best friend. The next moral – Do what you do with all your heart. Never take half measures. Eg Bhima did not hesitate before killing Vikarna …the third of the Kauravas and the only brother who stood up against the humiliation of Draupadi. While killing him, Bhima made a chilling confession – ‘Of all the Kauravas, I love you the most. You are a true man. I do not wish to kill you and yet I have to, because of the promise I have made. Any break in that promise may look like weakness on my part”. Karna had made a similar promise to Duryodhana – That of destroying the Pandavas. He did not succeed because he gave in to emotion.

Karna was celebrated as a warrior for defeating Bhim and Yudhistira, but Karna still lost the great war to the Pandavas because of an obstinate desire to better a man who could not be bettered in his chosen field. Karna did not see the signs, did not read the writing on the wall. He insisted on taking on the one man who would never lose to him..the one man who had beaten him hands down in the past. Karna did not know his limitations..and that was the next big moral of his story – Know your limitations.

Karna was known as one of the greatest philanthropists of his age. Even in this, he did not know the difference between ego and philanthropy. He knew that Indra was asking for his most prized physical possession. He knew that he would surely perish without his armour, and yet, it was his vanity that prevented him from turning Indra away. He would, under no circumstances show any sign of failure, of weakness. He wanted to show Indra, that armor or not, he was still confident of beating Arjuna. He wanted to cut a cavalier figure … a sort of Hector like fatalist. He did not realize that victories are not achieved through such empty shows of magnanimity. Imagine…would Arjuna ever give away his Gandiva? I dare say not. In fact Arjuna knew his limitations and went by them. At a very advanced age, when the Gandiva had outlived its purpose and given back to the powers that be, the same Arjuna, lost a battle to a mere bunch of highway robbers. However, by then, Arjuna had served his purpose. The kingdom had been won, a mere skirmish did not matter. Karna, by his so called philanthropy, lost the only battle that could have ever mattered.

Kunti came to him before the war started and tried to convince him to change sides. Krsna did the same. Karna, even then, admitted that this was a war that would end in disaster for the Kauravas…and yet he backed the losing side. One can see greatness in that , but one can also see the inability of recognizing good advice. Good advice is to be taken…not rejected. There is no glory in death and defeat. There is nothing more humiliating than death and nothing more insulting than a defeat that is conclusive. Karna had lost the war before he started fighting it. He was as good as dead…and yet his vanity won. He did not follow good advice. Good advice needs to be taken…specially when it comes from those who are better and more experienced than you.

Karna lost every bid for greatness he made. He was the quintessential ‘almost there’ guy. A man destined for greatness only because he attempted to scale the wall. He made valiant attempts but lost out because of these fatal failings listed above. His name became synonymous with sacrifice and that was his claim to fame.

In all of this, one totally missed out the objective of his sacrifices. Never has a man in mythology defended a cause so shallow, never has a warrior fought a war with his strength sapped so low. Never has a Hero so clearly defeated every cause that he held dear.

Karna is important for all of these reasons. Karna is great because of his sheer lack of greatness and the potential that he did not realize.

Karna is what every great man…should not aspire to be. That is then the importance of being …Karna.

Indian and 'isms'

Hinduism was never a religion. It was always a loosely held confederation of the great Indian Religions like Vaishnavism, Shaivism, Shaktism. Basically all the religions that were born and nurtured in the historic land of rivers, far beyond the western frontiers of the Indus.

Now let us put the concept of Indianism in perspective. It is slightly confusing. The history of Indian thought goes far beyond the present boundaries of the sub continent. In fact the Indian nation extended well into the lands of Iran in the early part of proto history. This was after the origins of ruins at Suktajen Dor in western extremes of Iran and well into the realms of Vedic civilization.

The language of the early Persians were heavily influenced by the Indo Aryans and Zoroashtra himself was said to have studied the Indian scriptures deeply before espousing his specific form of religion. In fact it would not be too presumptuous to imagine that Hinduism in some form existed in Iran at that time considering that Gandhara (or Afganistan) at that time was a Hindu nation (one would believe of the Shaivism strain) and was a great meeting point of Parsi, Buddhist and Hindu Philosophy.

Alexander, as late as the 3rd Century BC had to go though the ‘pagan’ climes of the great Afgan nation and subjugated its great ruler in Taxila – the great university town. This ruler King Ambhi later aided his drive into Punjab and his face off with Porus.

Taxila, a strategically placed city – at the crossroads of the great Silk route – was the capital of the Great province of Gandhara. Situated in present day Pakistan (North West – around 60 km west of Islamabad), was adapted by the Bactrian Greeks for its importance and retained its primary role for many more centuries. Later, it was as important to the Greek communities (who established a township called Sirkap). Demitrios who ruled over this area during the later Bactrian invasion considered this city as his capital over Punjab, Sind and Afganistan. Oscillating between Iran (Persian empire) and the Indian powers, this land was forever the melting pot of Hindu and Persian philosophies.

And then lets not forget the importance of Gandhara in our epics. Remember the great Shakuni of Mahabharat – prince of Gandhara and his sister Gandhari. In Ramayana, also, these lands found mention in the origin of Bharat and Shatrughna and their mother Sumithra. Sumithra was the daughter of the Emperor of Gandhara.

The very fact that there existed such familiarity between the leaders of two nations that were situated geographically far apart, shows a kind of cultural similarity that may have found voice in similar religions and thought. Not difficult then for us to imagine that Gandhara may have spread far beyond present day Afganistan. Actually maybe much further than Afganistan …. I have this theory that Achilles and Krishna were blood brothers…both had their heels as their weakness.

So back to the topic…why the hell am I talking about the expanse of India in the isms… Merely to establish the variety of isms and the great cultural and social similarities in them. Now, understand this…India was never one country. It was a variety of people drawn together in parts and pieces or in the whole by temporal political power, by changing hues of social and religious beliefs, but mostly by a psychological entity that cut across geographies and physicalities. India of the isms existed in as much as Europe exists, only much more varied …much more colorful. The land of isms is a continent to end all continents. Smaller than the world but containing it nonetheless.

This ism’s eastern extremes are better known than the western ones. But its worth a mention that the ancient versions of this culture left a more lasting impression on Indo Chinese culture than we will ever realize. Budhism, the later brand of Islam and indeed a fraction of Christianity is deeply effected by the Indian isms. Its strange to realize this….but till participants in the great Indian mix decided to coexist and worship each other’s gods, things went along fine enough. So you had a Shaivite celebrating the birth of Krishna and a Vaishnavite celebrating Durga Puja accepting the importance of Shaktism as a force in the diaspora. Initial epic battles were passed on as stories and the political importance of Shiv - the Urban God (who was that through his sheer bohemianism) succumbed to the rustic charm and rising power of the agrarian community…not to be completely replaced but to be only just subservient to Vaishnavism (In the epics it was always a Krishnavatar…never a Shiva Avataar…and then the city slicks Bali (of the hidden but grand Kishkinda) and Ravan of the glamorous and large Lanka …both Shiv bhakts lost miserably to the nomad – Rama).

Eventually even Shiva would see a great revival in the re emergence of the more sophisticated elements of Indian civilization…the drugged and mystical image of Shiva was hard for the educated City Slicker to ignore (after all). Shaktism hovered in the middle somewhere…creating a fluid bridge between the two – Remember Durga was married Shiva and had a daughter – Lakshmi who was eventually married off to Vishnu – which again in the times of those legends made Vishnu the most important factor – The spoilt son in law….a political marriage if there ever was one. Its worth noting ..that in the south of the sub continent where civilization was more sophisticated and education more widespread … the cult of Shiva thrived and eventually re usurped its rightfull throne as a predominant Ism. Each religion borrowed so heavily from the other that down the centuries they merged into one…assimilating within their folds erstwhile influences from around the globe, creating the ONE truly eclectic religion that the world has ever known.

The fall came with the rize of isolated Brahminism and the refusal of Islam to be a part of Hinduism….though assimilating in the Indian Isms, Islam could never fully integrate in the existing culture and Mohammed could never become a Hindu God…but that is another story.

Cheers. The end of tolerance is spelling the end of Indianism …and we all rejoice….we all rejoice.

Craziest Food I have ever tasted

1. Tongba, Bamboo Beer....Hot Stimulating Cafe, Darjeeling. This is a rocking drink. Made of fermented millet and rye based in a round Bamboo Container and drunk with a Bamboo Straw with a netting at the end. The base of fermented millet and rye is topped with hot water and allowed to settle for a few minutes. You sip and sip and then top up again and again till the alchohol in base lasts. Never ending and superb. Best had with the house speciality which are freshly made Momos (all vegeterian in this joint)
2. Grilled Alligator Meat with Garlic Toast and Red Wine at Brassilia - the restaurant at Lagoons in Lagos. With baby tomatoes and herbs, this is a strange, if not a very appetizing food.
3. Tomato rice stuffed into scooped out Cucumber @ a friends place. Tasted terrible ....try if you like that kind of thing...specially when the cucumber is boiled
4. Bhindi stuffed with Keema at a parsee friends house...made the same way that you would make bharva Baingan or stuffed bhindi (with besan).... Crazy ...the Parsees need meat in everything
5. Jadoh....in the North East of India...I believe its origin is Shillong...but its recipe is like pork Biriyani but the Rice is cooked in Pork Blood ...or so I believe. Loved it before I found what it was boiled in
6. Chhola Burger at Bhopal...This is crazy...It is Chhole ...pounded and made into neat cakes and placed as patties between buns... I can think of better things...Didnt taste half bad though.
7. Bheja Fry @ Bhatyar Gali ...was horrible....picking goats brain....yucks
8. Tea, creamed with Camel Milk...again a strict no no.... a few years back at Sarita Udyan in Gandhinagar...realised something was wrong the moment I sipped the tea...only to be told that normal milk was not available and so the Camel variety....
9. Crispy Sweet Chicken @ Tangra, Kolkata...Just in case you did not get enough protien during the meal itself, here is what you do...dip chicken strips in bits of sweet marination (honey in it I believe and til) and fry it till crisp.... Sweet very sweet...And kind of ok to taste
10. Alloo Tikki Burgers at Macdonalds....Hello what was that? Alloo Tikki ...ok ... but Alloo Tikki Burgers at Macs? Absolute no no...

Ever Changing Freedom

I am tired of the ugly things in life. Thats why this is gonna be a happy blog. Thoughtful and positive yes. Unhappy ...NO.

Therefore I have kind of stuck to neutral topics ...things that one would love till now. Stuff like food, drinks...basically 'bring a smile on your face' thingies.

So today I continue in a Nation swelling with pride and happiness. A pride and happiness thorroughly justified in the emerging 3 days, 4 night weekend coming up. All government and private sector employees will be paid during this period and all trade and businessmen will do brisk business.

The occassions are nebulous...at best preserved in the back of our consciousness, but the pleasure genuine. Janmashtmi is, on the whole, more important than Indipendence day, the latter however being more widely celebrated in its geographic extent.

Nehru said, 'Long years ago, we made a tryst with destiny....the time has come to redeem that pledge'...well have we kept that pledge? ...in many ways we have.

We are a Free country. Politically and Economically. But the time has come to fight another battle. The battle to free us from the brand of Political and Economic freedom that we have, from the disparity we suffer. The time has come to ask...Has the freedom we have really made a difference?

I presume it has. I was not born during the occupation and so I dont know the emotional hassles of being secondary in my own country. Moreover I was born into what may be considered a Socially elevated family (if not an economically elevated one). To add to it, we were not exactly hand to mouth. Therefore I was a part of the new Elite. The Elite that had taken the place of the Raj ...to create a new order....a new Raj. I must confess though...There were thousands, nay, millions of people around me, not so lucky as me, who were secondary...any which way you look at it. And this realization of mine was acute from a very early age.

Our house in Kolkata had 2 entrances. One a delapidated side door that led to the backyard, and the other, a grand entry for cars that led to a stairway into the drawing room. The side entry was used just once a day. A jamadar would come and knock and the servant girl would go and open the door. This Jamadar with a broom tail (quite literally) would go into the backyard and then take the back intrances to the bathrooms. He would clean up, take the refuse and leave the same he came. The maid servant would directly go into her bath and be allowed into the house after that.

We were not so much as allowed to go near the sweeper man. After all, the sweeper man was an untouchable. He and his ilk were unclean. In fact, these were a subhuman race...descended of the lowest of the low. They never had any chance in hell of rising above subhuman as their children would be from the same dirty seed as them.

That has changed. At least in the urban context. There has been significant changes in the Rural India as well. The Brahmin heartland of India has a seen a significant revolution that has seen the rise of the opressed classes. They have entered the earlier Brahminical bastions of Politics and Administration and have made significant progress in terms of individual property and community. Problem is that soon as these people become empowered, they become elitist. The irony is that its their origins themselves that make them elitist. They wear their untouchability like a badge and garner votes from the silent majority. They give long discourses on how to break the grip and retire back to their marble palaces and big cars. I am sure they, in their ivory palaces, have a different entry point for sweepers as well.

So nothing much has changed. We have created a new Layer of Noveu Brahmins who are in many ways even more exploitative, as they dont have the generations of education that the erstwhile higher classes have gone through. One would see this as a natural process of National Evolution and one may be right. The next generation of the New Brahmins, will be not so crass and in your face and would be capable of taking clean sophisticated decissions. These decissions, one hopes will open the road for even Newer Brahminism. There will be new graduates to the Elites ..who will reduce the span of the underprivilaged and continue on the path of unsophisticated, unplanned progress which will eventually destroy the decaying social order and a create a new ruling class in the generations to come. They will be the Brahmins of the new age espousing a new freedom that will run out of fashion eventually till newer Brahmins cause a social catharsis..

This cycle will continue till the utopian death of class politics. Which, with all due respect to the changing liberal elites, is not possible, because, all things on par, we will always need a ruling and a ruled class. There will always be parties, organisations, people, groups etc who will be more equal than others ...who will controle the food that hits our table and the safety we need at home and the healthcare we get in our old age. These people will always be elitist, till they fall to the new order.

Hell...Freedom is cool...phew....Its momentary, utopian and ever changing....That gives each one of us the freedom to celebrate our indipendence from a different cause in each succesive year. The Raj is irrelevant...let us celebrate our Indipence Day as a symbol of freedom ... from anything at all...

10 things to eat before you die...there are 100s....but for today

1. Chello Kebab at Peter Cat, Park Street, Kolkata....the recipe is pure. Delicately herbed rice lightly suated in butter ringed with tender makhmali Sheek Kebab and melt in your mouth Chicken lasagni tikkas...topped off with a perfectly rounded fried egg.....
2. Prawns Fry with Malabari Paranthas, Bhatiyar Gali, Ahmedabad....Shrimps (sizeable) fried in flavored oil (flavored with thousands of rounds of frying) slightly caramelized and with a masalla of tomatoes, garlic and onions. The Malabari Paranthas ...slightly sweet to the taste ...brilliantly rounded in layers and roast fried to perfection...You generally sit in your car and order for this. Carry a Thumbs Up with you. If you prefer something harder .. feel free.
3. Liver Curry....you will get this in any standard Bong Home....Diced Goat's liver and potatoes....in a gravy of Peas flavoured with light haldi, tomatoes, garam massala, onions and garlic....Dried and stir fried it tastes great with Rotis...preserve a little liquid and it tastes great with Rice
4. Patra Fish, A 1 Parsee Food Corner, Nanpura, Surat. Silver Leaf, Ahmedabad. Yezdi, Flora Fountain, Mumbai or at Sagar, Navsari. Slabs of white Pomfret ... marinated in a fine mixture of pudina, dhaniya, coconut, raw mangoes and other condiments...Steamed to perfection in its on marination wrapped in banana leaves...
5. Kolkata Biriyani @ Shiraz, end of Park Street, Kolkata....Delicately flavoured rice covering mutton cooked to perfection in a wonderfully evolved marination and topped with sauted potatoes soaking in mutton gravy and 1 boiled egg...Nobody in India has a better Biriyani recipe. Its actually evolved from Lucknowi biryani brought to Kolkata by a very kind Wajid Ali Shah and then evolved into perfection.
6. Chingrir Malai Kari @ Bhojohori Manna, Ekdaliya, Kolkata. There are many shops that serve this in many cities, but the one at BM, Kolkata is special. King Sized prawns with their heads on soaking in a evolved gravy of coconut cream and other usual masallas. Tastes devine with Rice
7. Gujju Thaali at Vishalla, Ahmedabad...I will get discent on this one...but I still maintain that the Vishalla Thali with its atmospheare and ambiance and of course delightfully tasty condiments to go.
8. Khichdi and Labra (mixed vegetable) at any Durga Puja Mandap in any city at all...Dont try this at home... it will never taste the same. Seems to taste the best on Ashtami.
9. Butter Chicken @ Ranjit da Dhaba in the road behind Safdarjang Hospital, Delhi ... I have forgotten the name of the Road. The creamy red white mixture bubbling with sinfull chicken tastes super with Tandoori Roti.. The Pandara Road variety isnt too bad either...but there is something special about standing on the road amidst polluting vehicles to have this
10. Prawns Kolivada @ Lambas, Chembur main Road, Mumbai.....Words fail me here....Kolivada...dont have it with anything at all....and watch it getting made...if you want a little Rum and Coke wouldnt be out of place

Patriotism...the meaning

A very young friend of mine asked me " What is Patriotism" . And I kept on thinking about it the whole day.

The conclusions. Patriotism is a partisan feeling towards ones ilk. You could be a Bengali Patriot or Indian Patriot. You could, if you so wished, even be a Tamil Patriot or Amdavadi Patriot. The moot point therefore, you have to identify yourself to your belief of a Nation...a geographic / political entity.

Still that doesnt quite describe the feeling.

I personally am a patriot. In the same way that I would, feel badly, if someone spoke ill of my mother, I feel terrible if someone says lousy stuff about India...my chosen subject of passion. I illogically try to find virtue in every grime filled corner of this country. I magnify beyond belief every small achievement of the collective polity. I blame every ill that it suffers on myriad conditions and fate. I am proud to be Indian, even when Children get raped and killed. I am proud to be Indian when people get lynched on the road and when mature grown up people drive on the wrong side. I am proud to be Indian when we send a mission to the moon and make our first neuclear Submarine. I am happy when Amartya Sen wins the Nobel Prize for a life spent in America and when Indophiles like Dalrymple write about our History.

In a nation starved of Heroes...Patriotism is the only Hero that one worships. Its good that the feeling rises above the individual and truly rises as a giant body ....Something like Krishna's Vishwaroop.

That said, I look forward to the day that Nationalism in its present form dies out. The day that the whole world becomes a nation.

That day, patriotism will have a different meaning.

Biryani Cake...and you may not have THIS recipe

Here goes .....

Ingradients

1. 1 Kg mutton ....cleaned
2. 500 Gm palak
3. 3 large Capsicums
4. 2 jharis of Dhaniya leaves
5. Some Tulsi
6. 1 Sweet Mango
7. 500 gm Dahi
8. 6 wonderfully white onions
9. 8 kernels of Garlic
10. 4 delightfully tight tomatoes
11. Red Chillies
12. Green chillies (5)
13. Garam Masala (the usual suspects powdered)
14. Garam Masala (Seperately ..Cloves, Cinnamon, Elaichi (kala and green), Tej Patta
15. 200 Gms of butter
16. 2 table spoons of Ghee
17. 2 Eggs
18. Saffron in cold milk
19. And before I forget ... The finest Basmati available (1 Kg)

Phase 1

Take the palak, dhaniya leaves, Capsicum, Mango, tulsi, green chillies. Cut them into fine pieces and grind them to fine consistency with a table spoon of cream in a mixie that works

Heat a wok, put in the butter and when it clarifies, put in 2 jullianed tomatoes, 3 kernels of garlic and the powdered garam masala (around 2 tea spoons will do ... so that the other natural flavours come out)

When crackling, pour in the Palak mixture with the Dahi and allow it to simmer for 2 minutes. put in salt to taste, let it boil for 5 minutes and set it aside to rest.

Take the Rice and parboil with a drop of ghee. Drain in muslin and set aside

Clean the wok (or take another one). Heat the Ghee and the remaining onions and garlic. Put in the full garam masalla and let it crackle. When delightfully brown, throw in the mutton and let the color fade. Now put in the tomatoes and salt to taste and set it on high heat till the entire juice is semidry and the mutton looks wonderfully red golden brown. Dont pay any attention to whether boiling has happened or not.

Phase 2

Take a large heavy base (prefereably non stick) tapela. Grease the same with some ghee or butter.

Take the 2 handfull of par boiled basmati and mix in 2 eggs. mix them to create some very eggy parboiled rice. Now coat this mixture into the base and sides of the Tapela

Now put in a layer of rice ...and follow it up with a layer of Palak and mutton...Repeat this till you are out of ingradients. Take care to see that the top layer is a thick layer of rice.

Now mix the Saffron well with the cold milk in a small bowl and sprikle the concoction on this top layer. Take your call whether you want some roasted almonds on it or not. I personally preffer this straight up.

Seal the Tapela with Atta or foil (atta priority) and slow heat this on the gas or burner for 1 hr 15 minutes.

Phase 3

Turn of the heat and let the Tapela rest for 15 minutes. Now break the seal and Turn Tapela upside down on a large dish. The biriyani will ease out like a piece of pie or something. Sprikle golden brown fried onions on this and other personal garnishing and serve ... hot.

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Birth of a Blog

You know how it works...You read a lot of Wodehouse, Kazantzakis, Tagore and Amitabh Ghosh. You write a few class esseys that are liked. You speak a kewl tongue and find that the majority dont understand what you are talking about. And, subsequently, you start fancying yourself as a writer, a sharer of ideas and information.

Its actually a mid life crisis...or the beginnings of one in any case. A situation when bills run faster than prize horses, and the paunch looks like it needs immidiate drastic action. Its when you realise that you cant be the Prime Minister or Mr Bill Gates,.....why....you cant even be the guy next door who bought that snazy car. Your credit rating is average and your commitments are legendary. It is also when you realise that most people couldnt care lesser about your interests. When knowledge or the yearning for it becomes irreversibly destroyed by basic real life practicality. So you sit down and tell the Krishna story to your daughter .... and she listens to you with rapt attention and then says...Dad can I have that PSP now that I have listened to all you have to say...and you start calculating the coming pay packet.

To top it all, rickshaw drivers start calling you Uncle...Now that is miserable.

So one needs a release and technology offers the perfect solution. This Blog therefore is about anything at all. Anything that one may want to say. Anything that one needs to share. For posterity...if not for the present.