Delhi - This evening

It has been reported by reliable sources that Anna, like Subhash Bose, has given the incredible cry of ‘Chalo Delhi’. At the time of creating this slogan, Anna, hands raised, was standing in the heart of the Ram Leela maidan, which, for the uninitiated and for those who had forgotten …happens to be in the heart of Delhi.

Various people from various places in India have woken up to the fact that the weekend is coming up. Airline companies have hiked rates and Railways have run out of tickets. Team Anna, has released a statement that goes “There is a conspiracy afoot by the government to prevent people from coming to Delhi. If the Airline companies don’t lower rates, then we will introduce an amendment in the Jan Lok Pal bill that will ban all Airlines. Anna has promised to go on a fast following this fast if the Airlines don’t act fast enough. We also have another demand. Rail traffic to Delhi needs to be increased by 500%. At least 2000 new trains need to be introduced from all cities to Delhi. This has to be done by tomorrow evening, or else, we will do a rail roko andolan starting today evening”.

The people from Delhi…native to Delhi…staying in Delhi claimed that Anna’s call was not for them as they stayed in Delhi from before. Therefore they are currently making a beeline for the Cinema Halls and Bars and Discos in various parts of Delhi. Said resident Gurpreet Singh from Mayur Vihar “I think we are not understanding what Annaji has to say. He is asking people to come to Delhi….This is his way of increasing tourism to the Capital city of India. I will definitely vote for him next time in Election and hope he become Tourism minister of entire India. Right now…I need to get drunk”.

It has been reported that the ‘Chalo Delhi’ visitors to Delhi will be put up at places that have never been touched by corruption. After extensive survey work, the authorities have circled in on one square centimeter of land in North Eastern Extreme of the city.

In another wholly unrelated development, Arnab Goswami has resigned from Times Now. It is said that his hearing has been prematurely effected from ‘The Studio Noise Syndrome’. In a media statement, a visibly distraught Arnab said “I have given my all to bring you divergent point of views. Now with a heavy heart I will need to retire due to Medical reasons”. Of course he couldn’t hear the sound of fire crackers that went off.

Unconfirmed report also said that Manmohan Singh has threatened to go on a fast until death till Anna doesn’t withdraw his agitation. When quizzed about this, Mr Singhvi, official Congress spokesperson , looked puzzled and said “No comments” A reporter reportedly overheard him screaming on the phone to somebody….”Why did nobody tell me he was alive in the first place….Nobody tells me anything…I will report this to madam…for sure”