Today. Around India (Mostly Delhi though)

Nitin Gadhkari …of the famous laugh and jelly belly, today put his all behind Anna. “We support Anna. His strength of character is exemplary and BJP supports his movement through thick and ….well….thick”. A dispassionate political commentator who refuses to be named has politically commented (because that’s his job) that Gadhkari should take the 11 days Anna program of Fasting. This will reduce the Jelly and let the belly come through. He further added that 40% of Indian grain production is currently residing in the jelly belly, and so, Gadhkari could go on a truly indefinite fast to support any issue. However he would find few takers. The man on the street, when asked about Gadhkari’s statement, replied “ Gadhkari WHO?”

Vandana Luthra has filed case against Anna Hazare. She claims that he has conspired to close her clinics down. Its rumored that attendance to VLCC clinics all over the country have fallen. 25000 franchises of the VLCC chain and their employees have resigned in disgust. Anna’s 11 day program for weight reduction has found takers amongst middle aged people all over India who happened to consist of 90% of her clientele (The remaining 10% were over middle age).

Anna couldn’t be contacted for his comments as he was apparently running around Ram Leela maidan in Delhi. A panting Kiran Bedi said “Anna is value adding to the 11 day 6 kg sure shot program”.

After having slammed Anna for being anti muslim, Mr Bukhari re emerged from the recesses of the little korma shop behind Jumma Masjid and declared his unfailing support to Anna and his fast “I am sorry for my earlier comments” He said..”Anna is totally pro Islam. He has chosen the holy month of Ramadan to do his fast. He is an inspiration to Muslims all over the world”. He ended his statement by committing that he will have a chat with Mr Abu Musab al-Zarqawi about making Anna the spiritual head of peaceful Islam anywhere in the world. On being reminded that Anna is a Gandhian, Mr Bukhari replied that Gandhi was a shadow Muslim with definite leanings towards militancy. He could not further explain this preposterous point of view.

Dalits have refused to comment.

30% of Indians who live below the poverty line (That straight line just south of your belly) have registered an organization called – INDIANS FOR POVERTY. They claimed that they would soon go on an indefinite fast in venues spread across the length and breadth of India…mainly their own homes…in support of killing hunger. Official spokes gal of the organization Ms Poonam Pandey said “ I will go nude to inspire this fast. My nudeness will serve as a reminder that lack of food is not bad. It’s the will power that counts”. Unofficial spokeswoman and mother of 10, Shreemati Bhanumati from Bastar, Bihar, said “We have practice….it will be a breeze…we can get by a season without food comfortably”. Its rumored that Nitin Gadhkari may support this movement as well….Only he cant decide about the part of him that will support this.

The official slogan of the movement has been coined by Shri Piyush Pandey – “NO FOOD ….DAMN GOOD”. Students from IIM (Kazhikode) and Lovely Professional University are analyzing the brand potential of this slogan.

In the meantime, the parliament is rocking….Manmohan Singh almost said something interesting….but then changed his mind.

However, as they say, It’s the thought that counts…